Losing My Mind
by Dark433angel
Summary: Nikita held her hand as tight as she could. She could feel Alex's hand gradually loosen. There was so much blood. Nikita prayed for it to just be a dream. The way it didn't feel real. The way Alex looked so blue, it couldn't be life. It had to be a nightmare.


Nikita held her hand as tight as she could. She could feel Alex's hand gradually loosen. There was so much blood. Nikita prayed for it to just be a dream. The way it didn't feel real. The way Alex looked so blue, it couldn't be life. It had to be a nightmare.

The crimson liquid covered Alex's fading face and engulfed her body. If it wasn't for the clean spot on her face, no one would be able to know it's her.

The Division lights raced past them. Each passing gave the blood a shine. "Out of the way!" a division doctor yelled out. The agents raced the gurney through what seemed to be endless halls.

"…Nikita…" Alex's faint spoke through her coughs for air.

Nikita looked down at her daughter. The glaze over her eyes deepened while the heart breaking tears raced down her trembling chin. "I'm here," Nikita placed her hand upon Alex's blood stained cheek, "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

Nikita tried to smile to comfort the dying child, but anyone could see that it was fake. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

Alex gave a soft smile in return, but in her mind she knew what was going to happen.

Her eyes began to faid. Each time she blinked they would remain closed a little bit longer. Her breaths were shortening while her heart beet was slowing.

"Nikita… I'm so… tired," the words Alex spoke barely broke through.

Nikita's heart felt like a thousand daggers were being plunged into it. It became harder to breathe the more she looked down at her. The sight made her feel nauseated. She had been with Alex from the very start and now, look at her.

Nikita clenched Alex's dimming hand.

"Stay with me baby," Nikita's trembling lips released, "We're almost there."

"Nikita… I…"

"Move!" The doctors yelled out at the top of their lungs.

Division agents dashed out of their way. They were speechless at the sight.

Alex's eyes slowly began to dull. They started to gradually vanished into the back of her head.

Nikita's heart froze. _No… Please Alex no!..._

"Alex?" she shook the motionless face, "Alex!"

The wheels on the gurney screeched to a halt. They had finally arrived at the operating room. "You need to stay out here," a doctor stopped her from following them in.

"No!" Nikita's voice could be heard throughout Division, "I need to stay with her!"

She pushed him out of the way but before she could move any closer guards came. Each of the guards grabbed her arms and picked her up.

"Stay here or you're just going to get in the way!" the doctor yelled at her.

Before she could speak a desperate voice broke through, "Doctor we're losing her!"

Nikita stopped fighting and watched as the doctor sprinted into the room. Her heart was collapsing, her family diminishing. It wasn't supposed to end like this. They were so close to finishing the fight that it couldn't end like this.

The guards let her go. Her eyes never moved from the view of Alex's lifeless body. Slowly her eyes stared at her hands. There was not an inch of skin that she could see. It was all just Alex's red blood. Drip by drip the pool of blood beneath her echoed in her mind.

_There's so much blood…_

Her legs became jello. She collapsed to the floor. The tears in her eyes seemed endless the way they became a waterfall upon her blood stained cheek.

"Nikita!" Michael's voice rang out from behind her.

She could hear his footsteps as he sprinted to her.

As he approached her he had not time to ask her what happened. Her arms immediately surrounded him. He could feel the shoulder on his shirt become soaked in Nikita's tears. "There was a bomb in her apartment," Nikita was hyper ventilating.

Michael's arms tightened in the embrace. She never wanted to let her go. His eyes closed, but even they couldn't mask the tear that fell.

There's so much blood," her cries felt like a ton of bricks to him.

He kissed her forehead. The way she clenched his shirt spoke everything to him.

He looked through the operating room window at the insanity taking place behind it. She might not make it…


End file.
